Yesterday is gone
by LostEmeraldFire
Summary: Remus struggles with trying to be himself and one day tries to make the pain go away forever. It'll to take two people who have been through just as much to show him he is not alone. (Sorry for the bad summary)
1. Silver Blade

A/N no own (except Summer&Joey Windsor who I made up), no make money, no sue got it? Good. Please R&R. Feel free to flame me I will use them to heat my cabin in the forest.  
  
Chapter One: Silver Blade  
  
The light from the setting sun shone across the pure white tiles. A stream of blood made its course, passing slowly over from where the sun had been to where it was. The pain coursing through him came as an awkward relief. In this wrong everything else seemed far away for him. No time to dwell on his pointless life and shattered heart that had been so foolishly hoping for a normal life when pain was so vivid. It took his mind off the troubles and horrors that had become his life.  
Instead it focused on the stinging cut flesh from which sweet blood came trickling out. His amber eyes looked at the trail of blood. How he wished that sometimes it would carry him away and drown him in it thickness. No, he thought looking at the stream of blood, this won't do its not thick enough. Slowly he traced the knife along on of the many veins on his arm.  
Yes this would be a good spot he thought only half aware of what he was doing could kill him. Knife seemed to grow heavy in his hand and the longer he waited the more inviting the coolness of the blade felt. Half of him was yelling to do it already and be done with it. That half was thirsting for the pain. The other half was having second thoughts. He had friends that might miss him. Maybe what he had left of his family who hadn't turned away at what he was would too.  
The darker side over powered his second thoughts quickly. How could have been such a fool? Wasn't it them who caused he to resort to this for not seeing his true pain? Couldn't they have stopped him from doing this? Couldn't they stop him right now? They knew the risks of getting close to me were great. It's their own fault for everything.  
With that last thought he started pushing the knife into his uncut skin. It moved towards him slowly. The sliver blade flashed in the dying sun as he allowed only a low moaning to escape instead of the full fledge scream that was forming inside. Some strands of his light brown hair fell into his eyes as dizziness came over him. What strength he had left was gone. The knife landed with an echoing clatter and darkness clouded his vision. The last thing he saw was the stream of blood as it grew thicker as he fell onto his side and blacked out. Silence filled the deserted bathroom as Remus Lupin lay still and grew pale in the darkness.  
  
A/N so what do you think? Ok for my first fanfic? Its up to you if I should post the next chapter. 


	2. Discovery

Chapter 2: Discovery  
  
"Who does he think he is!" snapped Joey. Summer nodded in agreement. "He just had to run off and tattle on us stupid Snape!" She listened to her brother talk with great frustration about Snape. He had went and got a teacher just because they had blown up his pastry. For brother and sister they had always gotten along well. "Mind if I make a quick stop to the bathroom?" he said pointing to a door ahead. "Yeah go ahead but I think it's out of order." Joey had already taken off when she finished speaking yelling back that at least one had to work.  
  
He pushed open the door; the light from the corridor illuminated the darkened bathroom. He started in shock at the scene that greeted his eyes. What was going on? Was this some sick joke? Thought after thought flew through his head finally settling on one. Is he alive?  
  
"Summer come here fast!" He dropped to his knees next to the limp body. He turned over the boy and recognized him as Remus Lupin. The door closed only to be opened seconds later by Summer. "What is it?" She looked at her brother and then at the figure he was next to. Her eyes then followed the stream of blood that seemed to come from the boy. Her stomach did a small flip at the sight. "What happened to him?"  
  
"I don't know. Just help me to get him to the hospital wing." Joey put one of the boy's arms around his neck and placed his own arm around Remus's waist. Summer did the same on the other side. "Come on lets go." The two of them made their way though the corridors, not seeing anyone. All the way not a word was said until they reached the door of the hospital wing.  
  
"Madam Pomfrey come quick!" yelled Summer who had turned slightly pale. Soon a short witch was standing in the doorway. Her eyes moved from Joey to Summer and came to rest on Remus. "What happened to him?" She beckoned them inside saying, "Bring him inside please." Her voice had turned unusually sharp. They went inside. "Put him here." She pointed to one of the beds.  
  
The lifted him up on to the bed like they were to told to. "Is he going to be alright?" she said quietly. "I'll do my best but I'm afraid he'll have to stay here for awhile. It's very lucky you happened to stumble across him. I don't want to think what would have happened if you didn't."  
  
Madam Pomfrey ran her finger along bottles containing magical remedies and bandaging his cuts with a flick of her wand. "We'll check in later." Said Joey. Summer stood where she was the scene that she saw in back in the bathroom troubled her. It brought back horrible memories. Like the time when-"You ok?" Joey looked at her showing some concern. She nodded and looked at her brother. "We should tell his friends. They'll be looking for him soon." He pulled her by the arm and they set off towards the common room.  
  
A/N So what do you think? Let me know if you want chapter 3! 


	3. Echoing Voices

A/n: blah don't own do make money you get the picture since you already read the thing in the other chaps. I'm thinking of discontinuing this story.  
  
**Chapter 3- Echoing Voices**

**  
  
Sirius looked around the common room while James talked about the many hexes he planed to use on Snape the next time he saw him. Peter sat in an arm chair listing in awe of the many hexes he could name. He watched as James drew a picture of Snape with the aftermath of a hex and they all began to laugh. They were all still laughing when a girl and a boy entered the common room and walked towards them. As they came closer he recognized them as Summer and Joey Windsor. "Its Remus" Summer said in a low whisper when they came to stand next to them.**

**  
  
There was something about the way she said it that made them all stop laughing immediately. "What about him?" James said it quickly to keep his voice from shaking. They could all sense something wasn't as it should be. "He's hurt" said Joey. "How?" They just shook their heads not willing to say. With that James and Sirius dashed to get to the Hospital Wing. Peter, Summer, and Joey hurried after them.**

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** Remus lay still in his bed, blurred thoughts spinning around his head. Where was he? Did it work? He tried to open his eyes but he didn't have enough strength. He could hear the door open further down from where ever he was.**

**  
  
"How did this happen." **

** "Who did this? Is he alive?"**

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** "He's alive but we don't what happened."**

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** "We did find this."**

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**"It's his father's pocket knife."**

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** "He didn't try to...?"**

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** "I don't like this."**

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**The voices echoed in his head which was swimming trying to comprehend what he was hearing. Even before the words began to make sense he knew what they must be talking about. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. He started to feel sick and full of shame. Now he had to face his friends. Now he had to explain. Dark thoughts began to surface as they always did. What did he have to worry. He was alone. They weren't really his friends. He didn't even have himself any more**

**  
  
When they asked why he wouldn't have an answer good enough for them. They wouldn't understand even if they knew what he was, who he was, or what he been through. No one here knew and nothing anyone said about wanting to help was true. I'm more alone than I thought. Try not to worry said a dark voice there'll be a next time. Even the wolf inside can't always watch you what, makes you think they can? You'll have another chance. You should have no regrets, you were doing everyone a favor. You know you were.**

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"Okay, time's up. Now out you go."

**"Please just five more minuets we'll be-"**

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**"I said out! The poor soul need peace and quiet to rest!"**

**"Can we visit later then?"** **"Of course. Now SHOO!"**

**  
  
He could hear Madam Pomfrey ushering the group outside. The door closed but, their voices were still echoing in his head. "Poor boy. He's been through a lot. Really a shame he handled it this way and after all this time I guess he just couldn't take it any more." She moved into her office leaving him to his thought, her voice echoing the loudest.**


End file.
